Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Ten Things (I Think) I've Learned From Australia

So, the Tigers are holding onto a 1 run lead in the fifth inning.
Another AL Central title is within reach.
If blue-eye Scherzer keeps dominating the Twinkies, my week will be made.
The city deserves this, Mike Illitch deserves this, the whole damn team deserves this.
Give 'em hell, boys.


As I now have less than a month left in Australia, I've reflected a little on what I've learned.
Not in class, obviously, because no one gives a shit about that.
The beloved land of Oz gave this proud American a new perspective on quite a few life-lessons.
Of course my dumbass won't always utilize this newfound knowledge.
But then again, I never do.
Maybe you will.

1. Humans don't change much, no matter where they may hail from.
  • I live with a Finn, German, Sri Lankan, Iranian and two Afghanis; our ages range from 21-37, yet we are more similar than any geographic locale would suggest.
  • It's like the goddamn UN up in this bitch.
2. Dual flush toilets should be adopted world wide immediately.
  • The money saved on plungers and time saved on not having to resuscitate a stupid toilet alone would probably add a point to GDP.
3. Nature will try to kill you, but also give you a profound reason to live.
  • My main goal before arriving was not to be murdered via Australia's cute yet murderous animal population (over three months down and still somehow alive)
  • Getting Steve Irwin'd aside, I have never felt more at peace than deep within The Great Barrier Reef, nor do I think I ever will.
4. The metric system is still bullshit.
  • Yes, I'm well aware it makes more sense, is used by the rest of the world, and an all-around good idea.
  • My rebuttal? America hasn't adopted it for a good reason. Not quite sure what the reason is, but...fuck the metric system anyways.
5. Stress is harder to come by when surrounded by those who don't subscribe to it.
  • Say what you want about the land down under, but this is a population who clearly does not give two ratasses about day-to-day pointless bullshit.
  • Maybe it's the convict mentality.
6. They use "soccer" instead of "football".
  • This is by far the greatest thing about Australia.
  • Europe could learn a lesson, but they won't; asshats.
7. People still care about societal problems; they are just more discriminating as to what exactly constitutes one.

8. There actually is weather as bad or worse than Michigan: Melbourne.
  • That whole "four seasons in one day" shit? It actually exists elsewhere.
  • I apparently will never know what good weather consists of as long as I live.
9. Relaxing & hard work are not mutually exclusive concepts.
  • I've honestly never seen a people who can grind hard on whatever they are working on for hours then somehow flip the switch in a goddamn minute to full-on relaxation mode.
  • The fact the beer here is actually potable is probably a major factor.
10. Ultimate Frisbee is a legitimate sport.
  • This goes without saying; it's like football, soccer, and baseball mixed with non-stop running for 80 minutes a pop.
  • Laugh all you want, but your ass will be just as bone-tired after six of those bad boys in one weekend no matter how fit you think you are.

This is obviously an incomplete list.
However, class is calling my name, mate.
I'll just leave you on a light note.

If you want to feel superior, you can always go to Europe; if you want to actually see superior, get your ass to Australia.

Peace.
JF.

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