Tuesday, June 5, 2012

30 Rules of Manhood

Who the fuck thought Tuesday was a good idea?
There is no such thing as a "good" Tuesday.
They can be adequate, at best.
The runt of the day litter.

No real need for introduction.
Just some guidelines men should follow.

#1: Never place your hands on a woman uninvited. Ever.
#2: A man doesn't bitch. He acts.
#3: Those who depend on you, especially children, deserve happiness more than you.
#4: A man tolerates failure, but never accepts it.
#5: Self-assurance is the natural pheromone of a badass motherfucker.
#6: A man never idolizes, whether possessions or persons.
#7: Never fucking watch Twilight.
#8: A man values his safety less than those who lack the ability to defend themselves.
#9: There is a difference between being a funny guy who makes a few well-timed racial jokes and being a racist dickhead. The line is thin, tread carefully.
#10: A man doesn't neglect his body.
#11: Learn how to fight. Don't be a pussy.
#12: A man doesn't get discouraged, he learns from his mistakes.
#13: Don't start fights. That guy is always a fucking douche, and everyone knows it.
#14: A man views his possessions as possessions, nothing more.
#15: Don't mock people too much, but there are certain situations when assholes need it.
#16: A man accepts change, but makes sure proper traditions are upheld.
#17: Think for yourself, but remember that you are just as much of a shithead as anyone else.
#18: A man puts his childish ways aside as he grows older. Spending all night playing Call of Duty isn't as cool when you are 23 and in your mother's basement.
#19: Patience is a virtue. It's a fucking hard virtue, but vital to growing up.
#20: A man doesn't lose his unique nature. He learns to adapt it in society.
#21: Individuality is sacred. Don't forget who you are.
#22: A man honors his ancestors, but always seeks to achieve more. It's what they'd want.
#23: Realize that craziness is a gradual process. Stop yourself before it's too late.
#24: A man doesn't obsess. Life continues, whether or not your bitchass wants it too.
#25: Learn how to change a tire. Pussy.
#26: A man spends his money wisely.
#27: Don't ever read a Nicholas Sparks novel.
#28: A man understands what is going on in the world. Watch the news for once you lazy ass.
#29: Communities require participation. Be a fucking citizen.
#30: A man never loses perspective. Things aren't as bad as we think.

Of course, I could be completely fucking wrong.


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