Monday, May 21, 2012

The Mind of a Conspiracy Theorist (And Why it Matters)

I'm a delivery driver by trade at the moment.
Lots of time spent in the car and I need something to pass the time other than shouting obscenities at my windshield.
After listening to my music on repeat for 15 months, I decided my taste in music is shit.
So, I download the Alex Jones podcast and listen to it at work.
Alex Jones is a conspiracy theorist with a lot of issues.
However, no matter how much I may make fun of him (trust me, I will), keep in mind that this man pulls one million listeners a day.
Maybe scaring the shit out of stupid people should be my profession.

Anyways, back to AJ's issues.
I have two videos in particular I'd like you to consider (you don't need to watch the whole videos, but you really fucking should. You'll feel great about yourself)
The first one:

Welcome to the most entertaining man you'll ever hear.
There is so much to say about him, but I'll let the video speak for itself and just jump in:
That fat fuck finds a way to listen to man obviously having a mental breakdown on national syndication and instead of calming the man down or getting him help, he begins yelling.
At a obviously troubled man hyperventilating.
Don't believe me?
Check out at about (6:00) in the video.

Well, this case of milking mental handicaps speaks a lot about this man, but what does it mean for us at least quasi-normal people?
All of us are perfectly capable of doing the same thing.

While Alex up there obviously has a few screws loose (not to mention a few missed therapist appointments), he demonstrates a vital part of human interaction.
If you're not receptive to the small, subconscious signs people naturally give off, you're likely to fuck up many possible meaningful friendships and relationships.
Now, AJ missed some pretty fucking signs that this man was troubled, but look at earlier in the "conversation." (go to 3:21)
The man quickly switches from any crazy caller's favorite activity (plugging pointless bullshit) back to describing his situation again (and again).
Did you notice his voice becoming faster and most exasperated at this point?
I didn't the first time I listened either, but it's a sign of trouble ahead that our dick brains ignore.
If, in a 10-minute conversation with a friend, they brought up the same point twice and became slightly on edge the second time, would you really notice?
I probably wouldn't either, but that person will probably come away from that exchange assuming you're a shithead.
Are they right?
In my case, probably.

What's the point? Listening is a used skill, but it isn't guaranteed to tell the complete story.
It might be shitty that people don't just come out and tell you their problems, but it's a fact of life.
If you want to be successful in your personal and professional life, pay attention and don't be an asshat like AJ.

Second video:

Holy shit.
It's difficult to even explain this video, I would highly recommend just watching it.
It is the most informative psychology lesson I've ever heard and it's only 9 minutes.
Also, do notice that AJ just accepts his fucking loco reporter's story on it's face with no questions.
One million listeners, Jesus Christ.

Anyways, Alex and his "reporter" Jon have the craziest back-and-forth I've had the fortune to see.
At (1:15), notice the fact that Jonny boy here admits he was talking to people he imagined were following and bugging his car for 10+ minutes because he saw a fucking van behind him.
(A side note here: If one of my employees came to work talking about talking shit to imaginary CIA agents in his car, I'd call the fucking police.
In fact, his speech is what I feel like must be going through the head of those who go postal.)
Regardless, Alex doesn't fire him but instead feeds into his deep paranoia for the next few highly interesting minutes (I recommend (6:15 to 7:47), you'll thank me after).
I thought it wouldn't get much worse, but I clearly know jackshit.

Go to (8:30) and prepare to watch the craziest parts of our minds personified.

After "firing off all his weapons" (heh), AJ decides to yell a battle cry, and Mister Future Felon joins in.
Now, one thing you have to understand about me is I can be a weird dude at times.

However, I'm pretty sure I'll never have one ounce of the creepiness required to declare war on the devil and the"New World Order" (a supposed shadowy supergroup Alex thinks runs the world. Who? For what purpose? The world may never know, but Alex sure as shit doesn't) on national radio over a disturbed and possibly drug-addled employee's daily hallucination.

Anyways, after taking a little nap following the video, there is one point you should consider.
Don't believe shit just because someone you know or like claims it's true.
I know most would not believe Jon's story even if it came from a friend, but what about your douche buddy's weekend of "banging bitches and getting drunk?"
He fucked a 3 and passed out on wine coolers.
As humans, we naturally exaggerate to impress others.
This is normal but also highlights something that became particularly evident over this year:

Believe what you see, not what you hear.

Alex could probably take a lesson from that.

Jon probably should hit the joint and pass it first.


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