Saturday, May 19, 2012

Confidence and Fear, Part I

Confidence; the big one.
Fear; the shitty one.
This is the logical point to begin FHP with.

(By the way, I have different ways of looking at terms than most; I will give the standard denotation of each and the FHP view (aka the Real Shit), along with certain ways to look at each)

This graph is particularly important for the discussion of the relationship of these two issues.
It may be slightly confusing, but all will be explained in time.
It is pretty shitty, but then again I'm not a fucking graph guy so take it easy.



Confidence:

  • Formal definition: belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance (dictionary.com)
  • FHP definition: The net positive difference between human perception and reality.
  • Like what?: Knowing you're a bad motherfucker even if you probably aren't; Acting like you know what you are doing when you really don't; self-assurance.
  • Caveat: Confidence is a long cry from cockiness. The difference between the two is pretty clear: a cocky person tells but a confident person shows. 

Where to begin?
Confidence seems so simple yet it really isn't.
Since it is entirely psychological, there is no quantitative measurement.
That being said, we all know the difference between the confident, the passive, and the over-compensating.
Then why is it so damn hard to keep?
Seems like one day it's there and *bam* the next it's gone.
What's the fucking deal?
It all comes down to the FHP antonym of confidence: fear.

Fear:

Fear.
The bitch herself.
What keeps us up all night taking one off-hand statement out of context.
Or subconsciously makes a guy look like a puss because he's hunching his shoulders in an uncomfortable situation.
It's shitty to be fearful, yet it is our brain's natural tendency when confronted with an unfamiliar or uncertain obstacle.
We perceive things as worse than they are, naturally.
Evolution obviously had a useful purpose for this (I'd think it probably was a better caveman idea to think a shaking bush was a tiger and not a squirrel, and your eventual existence suggests your ancestors probably agreed with me. Suck it, nerds.)
But evolution works against us now, specifically in the attracting females/ mating area.
The quivering pansy in the corner of the party isn't going to propagate with anyone; the aggressive jackass bonging 40's in the center of the party probably will.
Why?

Because the perception of the douchenozzle's worth is higher than the corner-dweller, despite any connection with reality.


I'm going to end this quite confusing first post (fear not, all concerns will be covered in the next one) with a little aside:
While, once again, confidence for FHP's purposes is considered the net positive difference between perception and reality, realize that a large discrepancy isn't going to last.
If in reality you aren't good at fixing cars, it doesn't matter how confident you are; you are going to fuck up the car.
Just like if you hadn't studied for a test and spent all night telling yourself you'll do great; you're probably gonna fail.
You will quickly lose said confidence because it wasn't kept within reason.

Peace.
JF






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